


Nightmares

by DesertVixen



Category: Vorkosigan Saga - Lois McMaster Bujold
Genre: Canon Compliant, F/M, Missing Scene, Nightmares, Treat
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-04
Updated: 2016-09-04
Packaged: 2018-08-13 01:22:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 862
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7956625
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DesertVixen/pseuds/DesertVixen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Drou's pregnancy dreams aren't pleasant...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Nightmares

**Author's Note:**

  * For [roseveare](https://archiveofourown.org/users/roseveare/gifts).



She woke up in the dark with a low sob. Then Kou’s arms were around her, pulling her close against him. Drou turned enough to press her face against his solid shoulder. It was becoming more difficult to do that, she noticed, thanks to her growing midsection.

“The dream again?” His voice was quiet and soothing, like his heartbeat steady against her, his hand stroking up and down her spine.

“Yes,” she whispered.

She had dreamed she was back in the old Imperial Residence, with Lady Vorkosigan confronting Vordarian. There was a sense of dread that pervaded the dream – in the dream, she always knew what was going to happen, and she had to watch it unfold helplessly. Vordarian, trying to convince Princess Kareen that Gregor was forever beyond her reach, that he would make it up to her, as if anything could replace a child. Kareen’s desperate attempt to free herself, her futile but so very Vorish attempt to strike a blow against Vordarian.

Drou had to watch it happen slowly, always hoping that this time, the guard would not deflect Kareen’s shot. She wanted to tackle her princess to the floor, to even take the shot for her, but her feet were rooted to the floor.

Sometimes, like tonight, the dream-Kareen turned to her, wreathed in that horrible deadly blue, her eyes accusing, her lips silently forming the words, Why don’t you do something? Drou wanted to scream that she had tried, but every time she had the dream, it all came to the same horrible end.

They lay there in the dark, her silently crying, him silently soothing.

***

They had waited for several years to start their family, so that Drou could fulfill her silent vow to Kareen to take care of Gregor. During most of that time, the dream had not bothered her, except on really bad nights.

Now that she was pregnant, the dream had returned to haunt her. Lady Vorkosigan had explained that strange dreams were a part of gestating a new life. She had also pointed out that if Drou and Kou chose to use the uterine replicators, Drou could avoid all these inconvenient symptoms. Kou had been resistant to the idea, however, and Drou had to admit that she had been intrigued by the idea of carrying a new life – part her, part Kou – inside her body, just as her mother had done.

Nights like this made her question that decision.

Over five years had passed since she had lived through the nightmare raid on the Residence – Lady Vorkosigan had wanted to rescue the uterine replicator containing her son, and Drou had wanted to save Kareen, abandoned as unimportant, expendable, by the men protecting her son.

Oh, they had thought she would be safe enough, that she could wait, those men who had not understood why Kareen hadn’t defied Vordarian somehow. Drou had offered her services to Lady Vorkosigan in the hopes that she could help both of them – Lady Vorkosigan, who had helped Drou find a way to be herself in Barrayaran society, and Princess Kareen, who had trusted that Drou could serve her better than a manservant and had given her up to Cordelia Vorkosigan. She had been trained to be Kareen’s last defender, a role she would have gladly embraced.

She had tried and failed.

Afterwards, Drou had not believed she was really safe again, until she and Kou were standing in each other’s arms at Tanery Base. It had been so wonderful to see him, back in his uniform as if nothing had happened. She had been shocked when he had kissed her so openly, but she had kissed him back as if she would never have the chance again.

Then to see the look on his face as he had looked inside the bag Lady Vorkosigan carried… it had almost made her laugh out loud. He hadn’t had to ride all the way back with Vordarian’s head.

Later, after everything had been taken care of, she had fallen asleep in his arms. It had been so good to lie down and shut out the world, and to hell with what anyone might think about an unmarried man and woman sharing quarters.

She had woken up to Kou shouting her name, over the sound of screams. They had been her own, Drou had realized after a moment. Lying there in the dark, wrapped in his arms, she had told him all of it. He’d held her while she cried, until they could both fall asleep again.

***

“I wish these dreams would stop,” Drou muttered after a few minutes. She turned to her other side, as he slid his big hands down around the bump their child made.

Drou felt his hands tighten on her midsection, as the baby shifted. Drou had felt the movements before, like the fluttering of butterfly wings, but this was different. It was definitely a kick

“Did you feel that?” Kou’s voice was soft and wondering, and as if to oblige him, the baby kicked again.

“Oh, I felt it,” Drou assured him.

They drifted off to sleep together, his hands still wrapped around her midsection.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed it! I had to check something in Barrayar when I was working on your actual gift, and it gave me the idea for this little treat. It plays off your suggestion of dark and serious, so hopefully it works for you!
> 
> There was some kind of glitch that kept this work from being revealed, so I had to repost.


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